


All Alone

by Dominoes95



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Depression, Friendship, Out of Character, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 15:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dominoes95/pseuds/Dominoes95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hartley has a breakdown several days after being fired from STAR Labs. He calls Caitlin in a manic state and she helps him calm down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that came to me. Don't see any Caitlin Hartley fics, she hates him in canon but i think she thinks everyones a good person at heart. This is very out of character on purpose.

Hartley was in his small apartment he had been fired from Star Labs only a few days before. He gave Hartley no credit in the particle accelerator, even though he had been a huge part in making it. 

But the most upsetting part was he was alone again, he thought Harrison cared about him. The second they had a disagreement that man was done was him. It made him feel so used and abandoned he wanted somebody to talk to but he had no friends.

Hartley wished he had friends but he was always rejected by people his own age so he just stopped trying years ago. Instead he just would insult people it made him feel slightly better about himself. 

As a kid he had no self confidence and was constantly teased at school for being smart, he also had missed a lot of his childhood. He had been born deaf and spent his childhood in and out of the hospital, those years were a blur for him. 

He remembered many surgery and treatments when he was able to hear again he was so amazed by everything and fell in love with sound. He managed to design his own hearing aids which were much better and functional. 

Hartley pulled out his phone tapping the screen on, there was no missed calls or texts. He sighed rolling over on his bed. He pulled up his short contact list he debated calling Caitlin or Cisco he knew Cisco would just be happy he was gone and Caitlin was a mystery.

He pressed call holding his breath he hoped she didn’t answer, he was feeling really anxious now. She picked up.

“Hartley? Is that you?” She sounded surprised to hear from him.

“Yeah...I’m sorry I shouldn’t have bothered you I'll hang up now.” He sounded choked up.

“No, its fine are you okay. You don’t sound too good. I was surprised you left did you get another offer?” She asked, of course she would talk about work.

“No, Wells fired me. I thought you knew that. Cisco is probably ecstatic that I’m gone.” Hartley felt tears burning in his eyes. 

“What? Hartley I had no idea what happened?” Caitlin actually sounded concerned. 

“I...I he told me not to say. I just feel so bad I want to hurt myself.” Hartley choked out. He had no idea why he told Caitlin this. 

“Hey, you need to calm down alright.” She heard the frantic breathing on the other line, if Hartley hurt himself or worse she would blame herself. “Take deep breaths okay.”

She heard him mumble OK. “I'm coming over I don’t think you should be alone, whats your address?” 

“N..no its fine. I'll be okay.” Hartley whispered. 

“Hartley I’m coming over you are obviously not okay. Text me your address and don’t do anything stupid.” She said. 

Hartley texted her his address and set his phone down on the night stand. He pulled the pocket knife out his pocket. He looked at his wrists the scars were over ten years old but the white lines still shown.

He had hurt himself a lot as a teenager, being in the closet and having no friends and being bullied. He was a suicide poster child. When he was at the lowest of the low he cut his wrist open in his bathroom he was 15, there was blood everywhere.

One of the maids had found him and called an ambulance, when he woke up his parents weren’t even there. They were still away on business and told the hospital to do whatever would “fix” him. He was sent to the psych ward for about a month. 

Hartley had figured out the system quickly and was able to be released and deemed non suicidal, when he got home his father punished him for causing so much attention. He thought Hartley was just trying to humiliate him. His parents wanted a perfect child and Hartley was anything but.

Hartley was so upset his father didn’t even think that maybe his son would try to kill himself was because he was miserable and depressed and couldn’t come out.

 

He let the knife carve into his wrist, watching the blood ooze out from the pale skin. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this but the stress seemed to be washing away with the blood. 

He didn’t know how long he had been laying there cutting through his skin and tears running down his face. When he heard Caitlin say his name. 

“Hartley!” She was over him immediately. He didn’t fight her when she pulled the small knife out of his hands. He felt like he was floating he could see her mouth moving but couldn’t hear her.

Caitlin was terrified she walked in on Hartley slicing up his arm. She always thought he had no emotions but apparently they were hidden very well. 

She wrapped his arm in a towel putting pressure on the wounds. They didn’t seem deep so she didn’t think he would need hospital. But she was worried about Hartley's mental state right now. He sounded really out of it on the phone. 

“Caitlin? I didn’t think you would come.” Hartley whispered to her. “Don’t be ridicules, I’m not heartless. Why did you do this to yourself?” She asked him.

“Makes me feel better...Wells said he would always be there for me.” Hartley spoke to the ceiling. 

Caitlin was very concerned Hartley was scaring her, she didn’t want to leave him alone afraid he would hurt himself again. She knew Dr. Wells and Hartley were close, she couldn’t believe he had been fired. Something big must have happened but Hartley was not telling her what it was. 

She went into the bathroom and pulled out the first aid kit she sat down next to Hartley who hadn’t moved from his spot on the bed. She slowly moved the towel away, there was so much blood. She disinfected the cuts and cleaned them then gently wrapped the gauze around his wrist. 

When she was finished she got Hartley some water from the kitchen. As she looked around the apartment was a lot smaller than she expected. She guessed it wasn’t easy being disowned from your parents. She wouldn’t know what to do without her mom and dads support and love. 

Hartley was sitting up in the bed sipping the water Caitlin had given him. He seemed much calmer than before and Caitlin was relived. 

“I'm so sorry about everything, you shouldn’t have seen that.” Hartley apologized looking down at his knees. 

“Hartley you could have died if I hadn’t come here. Have you hurt yourself before?” Caitlin asked.

Hartley didn’t look at her. “Yes when I was younger, I tried to kill myself.” He said quietly.

Caitlin was shocked she couldn’t believe Hartley had ever been that low. He seemed like such a confident guy who didn’t need anyone to validate him.

“I was bullied constantly and really depressed and I hadn’t come out to my parents yet and my life was going no where. I didn’t want to study languages and art I wanted to be a scientist.” He smiled slightly. 

Caitlin smiled, Hartley was opening up about his life and it really felt like progress with him. 

“So what happened with Dr. Wells?” She asked.

Hartley sighed. “He threatened that I wont ever get a job in physics again if I tell anyone.” He spoke softly as if Dr. Wells could hear them right now.

“What? Why would he do something like that?” She was angry now, why would Dr. Wells do something like that to Hartley. He had always been Harrison's favorite. 

“The particle accelerator...there is a good chance it wont work. Central city would be leveled. People will get hurt.” Hartley told her finally looking into her eyes.

Caitlin couldn’t believe this why would Dr. Wells threaten Hartley over this. 

“I wanted to stop him so no one would get hurt, I know something bad will happen if he turns it on. But he doesn’t care! The second I say something negative about his work he turns on me! Its like he wants it to explode or something.” Hartley was ranting. 

“Hartley you're a good person, wanting to protect people is good. I'm going to tell everyone about this I wont say you told me.” She told him.

Hartley nodded, “He was the only friend I had...now I’m all alone again.” He said.

“Hey, don’t worry so much. You can talk with me. Now that I know your not so bad. Maybe you can even be friends with Cisco and stop teasing him so much.” 

Hartley smiled, “Yeah I guess you guys are okay.”

“Just promise me if you ever feel like hurting yourself again you will call me. Anytime okay?” Caitlin ordered.

“Yes, I will. I don’t know why but I feel much better.” Hartley said.

“That’s because I'm here.” Caitlin joked. 

“Well I got to go its getting late, I’ll call you tomorrow okay Hartley?” She said as she got up.

“Yeah, goodnight Caitlin.” He said as she left. He felt so much better than he had in days.


End file.
